Do you ever feel empty?

\’I have nothing to do, so why not ……?\’ For so long, this thought never popped into my head. Everything I do has some purpose, for a better future, for better grades, for relaxation …… But sometimes I find that these \”purposes\” mean nothing to me. And the emptiness that comes along is just irresistible.

I lost motivation to everything, doing anything or doing nothing both bored me. So painful. So …. nothing. It reminds me of that lyrics: I\’d rather feel pain than nothing at all. Yeah…. Indeed.

When I felt the same way in high school, I would press hard on my palm or one of my fingers until it turned pale and then release the pressure just because seeing my blood flow back made me feel a sense of being alive.

So that\’s all, gonna go find some meaning in my life.