I went back to my hometown to visit my grandparents theses days, and there are so many things that I have noticed about their aging. And not only them, all of my relatives as well. Things changed so much. And it doesn\’t even seem real.
My grandparents, it\’s is so obvious that their health condition is dropping. They can\’t move around that easily, they hairs all turned white. And it\’s like, it seems that they have a lot to tell you, a lot that they want to learn about you, but they don\’t know how to start that conversation, they don\’t know how to approach you. You can clearly feel that they are putting you in front of anything, but you also know that with all the thanks you bare in your heart, it\’s hard for you to say how much you love them directly, that\’s just not how the culture works.
One of my grandpa\’s brother, he is also 80 something already. And he is in very serious and bad health condition. He doesn\’t remember things that well, couldn\’t eat whatever he wanted, have to move around in a wheelchair, and many more. You look at him, and you could almost feel the great pain that he is suffering from. And also that helpless and choiseless he has towards his life. You also see that my grandpa and also anyone around him, his wife as well, felt pity for him, and their eyes watered when talking about the good old days they had. You see that he is concious about what is going on, he know that it will bother others, you could even feel that he is guilty and ashamed about his condition, yet, he couldn\’t help and couldn\’t do anything.
And all the other relatives, when we were having lunch together, you could feel that they are aging too. They don\’t have the interest in great food that much, they are tired and maybe a little frustrated. They don\’t dare to drink that much, afraid of getting drunk and causing troubles.
And although I know that I have no words in this, I find their life a little pathetic. And mine too. At the end of the day, maybe we will end up the same.
I never get to face this until today, that aging affect people greatly, significantly, noticeably. It is making me so sad. And there\’s also a lot of thoughts that came into my mind. Need some time to process all those emotions.
Good night.